It’s a sign of our times that an expression once used as a vindication of Virtue — ‘No Good Deed Goes Unrewarded’ — has become a catchphrase for cynicism and regret. How does one protect themselves from being taken advantage of while still retaining a sense of generosity, optimism and kindness?
Bill Whittle and Alfonzo Rachel create new episodes of The Virtue Signal each week fueled by our Members, who make monthly or annual contributions starting at as little as $9.95/month. In addition to becoming true producers of these, and many other, shows, they unlock access to backstage content, forums, comments and our Member-written blog. We always offer a full-rapid and cheerful refund if you don’t love your new conservative friends within 30 days. Test drive Membership today when you click the big green button above. A lot of our Members make additional contributions to the mission using the big blue button, which allows you to give with credit card or PayPal in any amount you choose.
16 replies on “‘No Good Deed Goes Unpunished’”
“Asking” for a need fulfillment humbles the asker, who must admit to themselves (along with to the askee and any onlookers) that incapability. Most people hate being humbled, especially by themselves. When reality forces humility unpon a person, he resents: A) being forced into admitting that incapability, and, B) “publicizing” that incapability to the askee and any onlookers.
Bill, look into becoming a brand.
Like Sammy Hagar has become a brand.
Just by being yourself and pursuing your passions the self promotion won’t feel like such a burden.
Try to feel joy in being able to help and assist people while not letting them treat you like a doormat
from a book Lessons From Cats: “It never hurts to ask for what you want.”
Bill,
The reason you find it hard to “constantly self-promote” is that you have a healthy level of humility.
Shameless self-promoters are people with either a complete lack, or dangerously low levels of humility. This tends to result in Tik-Tok fame, Hollywood Liberalism and plastic surgery addiction.
This has been a Public Service Announcement for the Campaign to Ostracize Promoters and Shallowness.
Hey Bill. Could I get you to pop over to the North Georgia mountains and speak to our Rotary Club? And Zo. We need a band for a charity event. Could you come, too.
Thanks
As a physician, you wouldn’t believe how many people call me for prescriptions because they are just too busy to see a doctor and want me to give them a favor. Just because I might give you my personal number because at one time I treated you for a potentially terrible illness and the weekend was coming up and I didn’t want you to go to the ER without talking to me first so I could warn them what I thought might be wrong and get proper testing and targeted therapy started doesn’t mean you can call me from Barbados because you have a cold and want medication.
That’s pretty presumptuous of people to do.
That said, I had a doctor who was both a family member and a personal friend. I say “had” because he died last year.
I would call him up and ask him to write me a prescription if I needed one. I did that exactly 3 times in the 40 years we knew each other. The first time was a renewal for something he had already prescribed in a regular office visit.
I had already asked him in person at a family gathering if that was OK. He knew me and knew I wouldn’t take advantage of his status as an MD. He also knew me well enough to trust what I had to say about my own symptoms and judgement so talking to him on the phone was as he said “nearly the same thing as wasting both of our time on a formal office visit”.
I also generally provide minor computer services to family at either a greatly reduced rate or free (if it’s something minor that doesn’t require any of my more esoteric IT skills). So it was a two-way street.
Ours being more of an informal barter situation he still asked for my help a lot more times than I asked for his.
He’s the only doctor I ever had that sort of dealings with.
My point here is that it’s good to have someone in the family who is a doctor or an IT contractor (or a mechanic or a notary etc.) and OK to ask for help. When you really need it and as long as you don’t make a nuisance of yourself.
For the record, I have never gone to a doctor or contacted one for anything as trivial as a head cold. I only seek medical aid when I really need it and never use a doctor for emotional support to write prescriptions for minor things that a prescription probably isn’t going to help with anyway.
Family rules. I take advantage of my brother, a handyman of some capability, not licensed but quite the repository of knowledge.
Yeah, for me family is everything. If I don’t know something, or how to do something, odds are pretty good that I’m related to someone who does.
Asking family for favors, which they know they can count on to be returned as the need arises — Isn’t the same thing as calling up a doctor whose private number you happen to have, from Barbados, asking for a prescription because you have a cold and it’s making your vacation less fun than it might have been.
You’re right, Keith. This is a far better place to ask for unreasonable favors.
Could I have a prescription for heroin, please? :-]
I’ll need your full name, birthday, the best phone number to reach you, your pharmacy phone number, and, …, I have to admit, I don’t know the proper strength and dosing schedule. So, if you know those things, please include them so I won’t look stupid when the pharmacist asks me to clarify the order.
Anything for Whittle’s citizen producers.
Once you have enough years on you, you’ve encountered those that are givers and those that are takers. However, with enough thought, most of us have gone through periods of both during our lives. I’d like to think I’ve done a lot more giving than taking, but it’s perspective that determines which is which. Being a volunteer, many groups do their best to get the most out of each volunteer, pushing them to do more and more until they say stop or quit altogether. We have to be smart enough to set boundaries for any ask that keeps expanding without being mean or undoing the good. Those that resent your boundaries deserve to be dropped. It’s a lot nicer to do for others when they express appreciation yet respect your time and boundaries.
Guys, I’ve posted your videos before but get quite discouraged over the rancor and hatred of the general social media populace. They don’t want to listen to a reasoned discussion, they just want to destroy anything that is contrary to their opinion. Those that want to listen are watching and supporting. I just hate putting more targets on your backs when you don’t deserve it, you’re just promoting discussion. Keep it up for those of us that enjoy! I do promote you to those that I feel will listen objectively.
Check out the typo (assumption that it is a typo) in the title. “No God Deed”
Gentlemen, the corruption of the original phrase is not a reflection of cynicism but is in fact more certainly an accurate reflection of our current paradigm!!!
I grew up hearing the phrase, “You work the willing horse.” I think this helps explain, to some degree, what Bill was talking about at the beginning. Occasionally, with some people, you have to say “enough is enough” and basically let them know you have helped out all you can for the immediate future. In my circle we have a group of people with extremely varied skill sets. One example comes immediately to mind is that I can not weld, I don’t’ have the equipment or knowledge for welding but one neighbor is an excellent welder so I will ask him knowing full well that some time in the near future he will be asking for my help which I gladly provide. Dan, on the other hand is a very skilled mechanic but if he needs help with some wood work he knows he can ask me any time for some help. None of us take advantage of the others nor do we feel taken advantage of. I believe the appropriate phrase is “turn about is fair play” or possibly “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch your!”
Always great episodes. Thank you so much!
219 episodes, it is hard to imagine. I love you both and would never miss a single one. I guess you could say, till death do us part, but hopefully not too soon.
Thanks guys.