The heart of a Republic is a virtue called civility. Zo Rachel and Bill Whittle grapple with the vice of road rage and how you can change someone’s day — and save the Republic — with a flick of the wrist. Would you want to live in a country that acts the way you do behind the wheel?
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Video below hosted at Rumble.
33 replies on “CIVILITY: How to Change Someone’s Day, and Save the Republic, with a Flick of the Wrist”
I’d like to share something my wife and I have been doing for decades. Who knows, maybe we can make it take off and become “a thing.”
We refer to it as “Insane Elf Posse.” You call it whatever you please.
I started it by accident back in the 80s when I was in the Navy. I was getting groceries one afternoon, and the girl checking was looking very harried, like she was near the end of a long, hard day, and near the end of her tether as well.
I couldn’t help thinking about how “beat up” she looked as I carried my groceries to the truck. She wasn’t rude or short tempered, in fact she tried hard to be upbeat and cheerful… but if you had been paying attention, it was clear that it was work to do so.
Somewhere on the way to the truck, something snapped, and I decided that was just flatly unacceptable.
So I put the groceries in the truck, went back in the store, bought a small flower arrangement, made a point to go back through the same checkout line. And after I paid for the flowers, I handed them to her and said, “These are for you. I hope the rest of your day goes better.”
The change in her expression and her body language was remarkable. It was a complete attitude makeover.
Please understand, I was married with children. I don’t remember her as being remarkably pretty or ugly, nor did I care. I never expected to see her again, and in fact I didn’t. She was just someone whose day had put her needing a hug, and that was as close to a hug as a total stranger could reasonably give her… so I did.
It cost little enough, but it made a huge difference in her day. And really, it made a large change in not only my day, but my entire life. That wasn’t part of the plan, but I’m not complaining.
Fast forward a few years. I’m divorced, the woman I am seeing wants to give her mom something really special for Christmas. Her mom lives 3 hours drive away in the backwoods. So we drive out there in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, sneak onto her porch (taking a chance of getting shot), leave the present and drive back.
Since then, we have done similar things several times. Sometimes to people we know, sometimes not. The significant parameters is that it should be fun, it should be different, and the recipient should have no idea who did something nice for him/her. We sign our work “I.E.P.” This has included driving all night on Christmas Eve to dress a friend’s car as a unicorn, with a big horn at the top center of the windshield and a tail made of a feather boa attached to the rear window wiper.
So, if the lack of manners, the lack of civility, the death of taking joy in being civilized toward one another is something that bothers you, why settle for mere civility? Go the whole 9 yards, be I.E.P.
When someone holds a door for me, I always make a point of making eye contact and giving them my sincere thanks. I want them to know that not all women are feminist brats and that their efforts are not wasted.
1st post. Bill commented on the practice of opening and holding doors for others. We observe that often, not just for “little old ladies in wheelchairs” but for just about anyone, including young and old alike. Why do we bother? Just to be civil? Just to feel good about ourselves? Might it derive from a deeper source than a proper upbringing or avoidance of embarrassing looks from others? Just wondering.
My father used to have a bunch of sayings he liked to trot out when the moment seemed appropriate. One of my favorites was this one:
If you’re in too big a rush to be polite… you need to slow down.
He’s been dead for almost 50 years now, but he’s still one of the smartest people I ever met.
Zo is correct in that the Golden Rule doesn’t always cut it. Personally I like my version better, not least because it has sharper teeth:
Yes, you are an adult in a free society, which means that you are free to do _____ to others, no matter how hateful and screwed up _____ is. The question is, when you look in a mirror, are you willing to see the kind of person who does that?
I used to get upset like that with tailgaiters… now I just, unless I am in the middle of passing people in which case they can wait their damned turn if getting over is going to trap me in a line … I just, at the first opportunity, move out of the way and say “have fun, buddy”. It’s not worth it to me. It’s not worth the rage. Maybe I AM already going over the speed limit. They wanna go over THAT. Ok. Knock yourself out, dude. When I’m ready to give up my position temporarily to let you.
There is an old Carlin routine (well, I guess they all have to be old now don’t they). Anyone driving faster than you is a maniac and anyone driving slower than you is an idiot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWPCE2tTLZQ
And I appreciate your restraint! “Civil society”. That idea is deteriorating in a ditch somewhere with f****** cars whizzing by it. Miss it. In a private space, one thing. In public — clean it up.
In my little corner of the world, people are generally quite nice and polite toward one another and especially toward strangers. That’s why I”m glad I don’t live in a highly populated urban city or area of the country.
I live in a university town, which of course makes it one of the bluest places in my state. Even so, since almost day one of the faux panic, I go to the grocery store sans mask – the only one in the store bare faced. No one says anything or even gives me the side-eye or lurches away in abject fear as I go about my business. I’ve seen videos of how people behave in stores and businesses toward those few people who don’t follow the herd, and I just thank the Lord I don’t live among them.
Zo mentions that the Golden rule does not always fit. “because you have people who will do rotten things to themselves and I wouldn’t want them doing those things to me”
Zo is in luck.
60 years before Jesus spoke the golden rule, Hillel the Elder was famous for the phrase
“What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow: this is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn.”
Sorry – but there always seems to be one that fits.
“A dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than is a riot.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Friday
And a corollary:
“The correct way to punctuate a sentence that states: “Of course it is none of my business, but — ” is to place a period after the word “but.” Don’t use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love
When I listened to it, I had the Friday quote run through my head.
I recently had an encounter (I was in LA ATT) where a
ladywomanfemale happened to notice that I was wearing a MAGA hat. This is not the usual red Trump MAGA hat, it’s actually very low-key.But it has a flag and the letters on it, so if you pay attention, you know what it symbolizes.
This young SJW got in my face, in front of my wife I might add, and started berating me for the hat, for supporting DJT, for all the stereotypes that the Left puts on us these days.
I was stunned at first. I just stood there and let her go. Then, when she stopped for air, I put a sweet smile on my face, and said in a calm voice,
“May I ask you something? If you think that I am such an awful misogynistic, horrible, violent person, do you really think it’s a good idea to piss. Me Off?” All the while, allowing my smile to become more and more wolfish.
And her eyes got very big. And she got very quiet. And she turned around and walked away.
And then my wife hit me for being an ass. I just can’t win…
I think my wife would have channeled Nia Renee Hill (Bill Burr’s wife) before I got the chance. But I like your response and will file it away for when I need a good, spontaneous quip.
Let me guess: She was wearing a “proper” face mask while berating you. Which proves something I’ve thought almost from the beginning of this face diaper nonsense: The anonymity provided by the mask emboldens people to go around picking fights and getting in the faces of total strangers, which they would never do if their identity weren’t being hidden.
As does the anonymity and actual distance of social media. People are reflexively nasty and childish on social media and have been so for many years now. It had to spill into face to face life eventually.
“I suppose I should feel offended, but I first need to evaluate your statement to see if it had any value.” “Nope, don’t think so.”
I have always believed that peoples behavior in traffic is a pretty good indicator of society as a whole. My experience while driving is not encouraging. Aggressive driving is the worst of it, in all it’s forms. We have all experienced it, and it is hard to not respond in kind, but we should resist it. How often have you had someone tailgate you, slide around barely missing you and then tailgate the other car, then you all end up at the light in the same position? This is when you ask yourself, what did that gain you? Number one, it was dangerous and illegal, number two it put stress on everyone else, including yourself, number three it gained you nothing, so why do it? This is a mindset I have seen often in traffic and simply cannot fathom it.
I seem to have more problem with distracted drivers. You know, on the phone? Stay in your lane! The light is green and has been for a while! Unless an emergency, or reporting a crime when driving, pull over or let it wait. I do see some of what you have
described. I particularly hate people tailgating or honking when you are already going over the speed limit. (Only 5 mph in my case. If you are going slower that, you will get run over).
Good point, distracted driving has steadily increased. Sometimes I think those on the phone at the light have no interest glancing up, they simply wait for you to honk!
I drive a truck for a living. My day nearly always starts and ends in DFW rush hour with the sun in my eyes.
One of the things that helps me most controlling road rage is my ever-expanding fund of smartass remarks:
“Yah mule, yah!”
“Dude, one lane to a customer.”
“I’m sorry mister, did I wake you up?”
“You’e not the first person I’ve seen with a death wish, but I hardly ever see anyone in such a tearing hurry to get there.”
“You have no idea what those lines painted on the street are for, do ya?”
The other drivers can’t hear them… but the other drivers aren’t the ones that hearing them is supposed to help, either. I hope to never be able to prove it, but I firmly believe that once I lose my sense of humor, I’m just a fatality accident waiting to happen.
One of my comments to dangerous drivers is this: “I don’t care if you want to commit suicide, but leave me out of it.”
Ooo, thanks, I’m stealing that. That’s a good one.
You are not stealing it, use it freely, and share if you want. Too good to keep for myself.
Civility has been used against us. Polite people don’t scream or fight back in public, that is not civil. Thus they are forced out of the public forum. Trolls are the most recent form of uncivil discourse and honestly bullying.
Isn’t the left supposed to be against the “Bullying” culture?
The BLM, ANTIFA, and the other Social Justice terrorists are bullying everyone to get their way. The media, politicians, and even the justice system are clearly either cooperating or actively supporting these “bullies” in their actions.
What kind of example/teacher are kids seeing/learning from. The child has two choices how to get what they want, either follow the civil rules and receive the reward sometime in the future, or throw a fit and get what they want right now.
Guess which one is being practiced in the “Woke” culture?
Authentic trolls can be ignored. Calling people trolls for challenging ideas creates an unfair conundrum, and is itself bullying. The individual person who desires to have a discussion is left with being repeatedly berated and not allowed to contribute, or has to abandon the effort altogether rewarding the bully and seeing a discussion deteriorate into waste.
True, however it’s worth to mention that the “person who desires to have a discussion” should be wise enough to find a place capable to have it.
There’s a saying that if you go to the brothel you auto lose your right to pose offended by anything you see there.
Most places you see around may provide infrastructure that looks like serving discussion but it was never claimed by the organizer and the real aim is often just collect clicks or personal data.
I’d expect the usable ones are either behind paywall (for good reasons) or special interest communities.
This, the Bill Whittle.com, is supposed to be that place. Just because some people get butt hurt when their claims and ideas are challenged does not make this not the place for discussion. They are abusing the venue and bringing the whole place down.
Well, this place is better than many others, but lacks some of the essential infrastructure. Most importantly the twitlist. That is the practical magic that keeps the forums civil without much external work.
You just block everyone you think abusing the place and enjoy the rest. And if many people arrive at similar verdict, the offenders just put themselves in the quatantine — then eventually give up posting to dev/null.
One important aspect of the civil society is that it is not easy to get away doing whatever without consequences.
When I am being tailgated, I gradually slow down until it forces the guy to pass me. Yes, they are usually irate, but they are also gone.
Also, having traveled in England twice, I have observed the difference between The English and Americans is, Englishmen are polite, but Americans are friendly, and helpful. Now don’t get me wrong, I like Englishmen, but I prefer Americans.
Yes Englishmen are polite and “cutting the que” is grounds for a through thrashing, but they won’t do it! They also say “sorry” way too much.
As far as tailgaters are concerned, I just hold what I’m doing and keep an eye on them until they get bored and pass me. Slowing down can cause miscalculations and accidents.
I do a gradual slow down, and always in the far right lane. So far they’ve always passed before I’ve gotten too slow.
Just tonight I had a “rice rocket” go by me fast enough for his wind to make my truck pull to the right! He had to be doing 90 or better! Where’s the cops when you need them?
They will show up when the rocket driver loses control and rolls off the highway.
I worked with a young guy separated from his baby’s mother. They shared custody and being a father seemed really important to him. He drove a motorcycle to work in summer and one day he bragged about how he goes over a 100mph on it. I was thinking about how selfish he was risking his life, and that of others on the highway, while completely forgetting the impact on this daughter that seemed to matter so much to him should he obliterate himself going over 100mph on the highway.