Virtual President – A Vow of Poverty

Full Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wFmQbEXNC8

 

Full Script:

How many of you listening to this right now have read the Constitution of the United States of America in its entirety, such that you know what’s actually written in it?  I’m sure most of you can probably rattle off a few things you’ve heard here and there from other sources, but how many of you have actually sat down and read it from start to finish?  I’d imagine not many of you, even among lawyers.

You’ve probably seen those pocket editions being sold in bookstores, so you know it’s short enough that you could probably get through the entire thing in an hour if you tried.

A Constitution, if you weren’t aware, is the founding document of any government entity.  It’s the soul of the nation, in a way, defining the body politic and its functions.  A contract between the people and their trusted public servants.

There was a time when every child in America was taught basic civics in school, wherein the structure and purpose of government were well understood by every citizen.  Today, far too many Americans don’t even know what the three branches are or where the Capital is located.  They don’t realize that we are a federated Republic of fifty nations, not a single democratic nation.  They don’t know many of the most-basic things about the country in which they live, and about the people who wield such tremendous power over their lives.

About the only ones who do anymore are naturalized citizens.  People who come to this country and take an oath of citizenship as lawful immigrants; and even then, only because we make them do it as a condition of entry.

Within the Constitution of the United States, there are terms providing compensation for those that hold public office.  Payment for services rendered just like any other job.  However, ask yourself: Are you truly satisfied with the job your elected officials are doing?  I’m guessing you’re not.

If they ran a gas station or a cash register the way they run this country, you’d ask to speak with the manager and have them fired.  You certainly wouldn’t pay for service like this, and yet you’re forced to all the same by way of your tax dollars.  You don’t have a choice in the matter.  You don’t get to opt out and refuse.  You’re made to take whatever they give you, whether you like it or not, and there’s no incentive for them to change, because they reap the rewards and the rest of us bear the cost of their screw ups and their failures.

Within the free market, there is a mechanism meant to hedge against this type of performance.  It’s called TIPS – as in the same concept of tipping your waiter or your cab driver.  TIPS is really an acronym, which stands for: “To Insure Proper Service.”  A tipped employee is generally paid a modest salary as a baseline, with the bulk of their earnings being based on how well they perform their duty.  How well they take care of their customers’ needs.  The better their service, the more they are paid, so their own needs are intrinsically tied to the satisfaction of those whom they serve.

Imagine if, instead of paying government officials a salary, they were instead made to live off of TIPS.  If their wages followed a donation or subscription model based on their constituents’ overall satisfaction.  How differently might they behave?  Instead, it seems that our so-called public servants do little more than enrich themselves at your expense while offering little in return.

Every politician promises you the moon and the stars, but few of them ever keep their word and deliver what they promised.

That all changes today!

 

Earlier this morning, I spoke with the Virtual Secretary of Treasury and the Virtual Director of the Office of Budget and Management.  We have come up with a plan of action that I think you will all appreciate.  

As of this moment, I am creating a new tradition that I hope my successors will continue, in which I shall give up my entire Virtual Presidential salary.  I will forego my salary – whatever payments the Constitution and the Congress declare I am owed – completely eliminating it from the federal budget and refunding it to you, the American people.  The reason for this is simple.  I am your humble servant, here to perform a job for you; and while I aim to serve everyone and hope to make you all happy, I realize the reality is that I won’t always be able to, even under the best of circumstances.  As such, you should only be made to pay if you are happy with the service I am providing the way you would any other employee.

For those of you who are pleased with the work I have done and will continue to do over the next four years, I have directed the Treasury and the OBM to set up a Virtual Presidential fund where individual citizens and resident aliens can voluntarily donate up to $2000 per person.  Such money shall go into an escrow account, to be held in blind trust for my duration in office, and only released to me once I am out of office.  With over three-hundred million of you living in this country, that should be more than I would ever need in a lifetime.

Corporations, unions, and other entities shall be barred from contribution, as shall foreign entities, and there shall be a cap to prevent the rich from buying influence.

I likewise invite every sitting member of Congress to follow in my example and give up their cushy salaries, restoring the dignity of high-office to a form of selfless duty to their country and its people.  Had they the balls, the integrity, and the concern for their own constituents – if they cared at all about providing you with proper service – every Senator and Representative in Congress would follow this lead and live off performance-based income.  They would adopt this donation model rather than using public service as their personal get-rich-quick scheme.

And you should remove anyone who refuses to follow this path, because it’ll be a clear sign that they care more about their corporate masters and foreign donors than they do about you.

As an added benefit, those who are eager to receive and spend their money will quickly and faithfully fulfill their term and then refuse to run for re-election for at least one full election cycle, thus eliminating the entrenched establishment and career politicians.

 

Those of you who are concerned about my well-being, I thank you, but I shall be fine.  I yet have some money saved up, and four years is not a long time to go without all the pleasures and comforts of civilian life.  I am accustomed to a life of simplicity already and do not need such fine ornamentation.  I can manage to bear this sacrifice, especially knowing that so many others bear an even greater sacrifice everyday with little to no recognition for it, and with far worse pay than a President’s salary.

By adopting this practice, I align my interests with yours, and you shall help keep me honest.  The best thing I can do to help myself is to help all of you.  To serve you faithfully and to the best of my ability, so as to inspire your own generosity and spirit of reciprocity when the time comes to take care of me later on.  That you will remember how I served you dutifully all these years.  And I know that, when that time comes, I can count on you; and it will be easy, because under my administration, we shall make this country richer and more prosperous than it has ever been.

This shall be the new standard, which Presidents and members of Congress will learn to follow if they hope to retain their political power.  It’s time to finally drain the swamp of corruption and blood money, of lobbyists and influence peddlers, until the only ones left are those who arrive in Washington with an attitude of gratitude and of cheerful service.  Those with enough humility and discipline to make them worthy of wielding the power you’ve entrusted to them.

In this way, we shall make America greater than ever and build a future of freedom for all.