5 replies on “CIA Replaces Waterboarding With 12-Hour Lectures On Intersectional Feminism”
The attempted indoctrination of our intelligence agencies, the military and other government agencies is but one reason I believe the Democrats as a party should never again be trusted and thus are fatally wounded as a political organization.
The Left makes it SO difficult to produce Good Satire, because they treat each new satirical piece as a “double dog dare” to go beyond the absurd and ridiculous with all the seriousness of a myocardial infarction.
Yup, the satire and the news are almost indistinguishable.
My sincerest best wishes to everyone in the Whittle universe for a very, very happy and joyous Birthing Persons Day!!! Most importantly…
***Never let a good pronouncement of progressive insanity by the Democrats go to waste.***
Please wish the same to all of the females in your life including those you meet randomly in your comings and goings. You should do this regardless of the celebrant’s age as birthing persons from infant girls to classy ladies should be recognized for their place on the spectrum of reproductiveness!
I’m 100% serious. This is a GOLDEN opportunity to encourage millions of female, cis-gender, birthing person Democrats to walk away from the abortion that is the Democrat Party. Use the new label profusely and profoundly to let them and their significant others know that their party is officially bat guano crazy and sees them not as mothers and caregivers but simple birthing machines.
Plus, you know, an insult’s as good as a hug.
Not only is this a golden opportunity, it’s also a timeless silver bullet perfectly suited for breaking the silence imposed upon us by leftist censorship and mob threats of job loss or cancellation should we express our disagreement. Talk to neighbors and strangers alike. Use that quizzical look you receive in return for conveying “Happy Birthing Person’s Day” wishes to start a conversation. We need to start identifying, repairing and growing our connections with likeminded people in the “web of trust.”[1] Many sinews of that web have been severed through that silence forced upon us, and we need to commence and continue rebuilding it quick like.
Why is it a silver bullet you ask? Good question.
If there’s one person in the world that people value with few exceptions, it’s their mother. Dad was/is always great for discipline, protection, roughhousing and provision including the imparting of many gems of wisdom, and we love and respect him dearly for every single bit of it.
But then there’s mom.
Mom was/is always there to wipe away our tears, listen with a bent ear and heal our wounds. No person in the right mind WORLDWIDE is going to level any sort of criticism as we defend her. No one, that is, except the leftists who have lost…their…minds, thereby exposing themselves for the world to see.
So fire away! Use this God-given gift of a litmus test to start conversations with strangers. Connect with like-minded people in a humorous way who might have remained silent throughout this madness for fear of being criminalized as a racist, sexist, homophobe, transphobe, whatever. A few suggestions…
“Nice baby girl you have there! How precious!! I hope she grows up to embrace her status as a birthing person. You folks seem like such good people. I’m sure she will.”
“Hey honey! Happy Birthing Person’s Day!” Then duck and cover as your wife’s/girlfriend’s reflexes kick into gear.
“Brunch was fantastic! No, you can’t get us anything else. We are positively stuffed! Just be sure to have yourself a wonderful Birthing Person’s Day!”
“Doesn’t the bride look absolutely stunning? How wonderful! Isn’t she just SO lucky to be having her wedding on Birthing Person’s Day weekend?! (sniffle)”
“I know sweetheart. Boys stink, and life isn’t always fair. But look at it this way. No matter how old you get, you’ll always be my little birthing person.”
It’s a short hop from this conversation to critical race theory and all of the other leftist garbage we’ve been forcefed by the identity politicking leftist Democrats for the last 5-10 years with the help of their partners in crime in the liberal mainstream media.
Tops on our list should be exposing the spineless, useless school boards around the country who need to be voted out. Over the last twenty years, they’ve gone from abysmal failure at education…
…to blaming such failure on the punishment of the disruptive few being due to systemic racism…
…to now attempting to blame some of our children by teaching them that racism runs through their veins as descendants of colonialists who “founded America in 1619 and built it with slavery” while continuing to damage the remainder of our children by telling them that their efforts at success will be forever hamstrung by a society that has it out for them due to the color of their skin.
And all of this lecturing from a hypocritical teachers’ union now using our children as leverage–inflicting further damage upon them–as they selfishly seek higher pay and benefits while keeping our schools closed supposedly to preserve their own skin despite being among the first to be vaccinated.
Enough. But I digress.
Last but not least, Birthing Person’s Day is an effective, eternal blunt instrument if I ever saw one. It’s a 2″x4″ which will sit in the corner to be used by our descendants to figuratively crack some dumbass leftist upside the head should they ever dare to again take the stage.
Should that occur, males and females alike will be able to just turn to their mothers, sisters and daughters and say, “Remember that time in our history when the left tried to label you all ‘birthing persons’?”
“You’re going to fire me for what? I don’t think so. Happy Birthing Person’s Day!”
We should be planning parades and writing songs to commemorate this glorious self-destruction of the left for generations to come. Hallmark should make cards. Jewelry stores should run commercials. Pastors should be preaching it to congregations, and former President Trump should endorse it with a rally. The month of May should be known heretofore as “Birthing Person’s Month.” None of us should ever miss a chance to celebrate this happy occasion.
To the ash heap of history with cancel culture and along with it our frustrations. No longer must we carry the yoke of its oppression. Gone are the days of being labeled a racist, sexist, transphobe or whatever for daring to hold a different point of view. Reclaim free speech and if ever challenged, wish someone a Happy Birthing Person’s Day.
It’s the gift that will keep on giving.
Let’s get back to civil conversation among adults and a web of trust we can all rely upon. Wish someone a “Happy Birthing Person’s Day!” today. Say it loud, and say it proud.
Happy hunting!!! It’s leftist season.
P.S. This post dedicated to my own mom. R.I.P. You’re still the best!
[1] “Destroying the Web of Trust” https://youtu.be/a3IsKG8CoNo…yes, Bill, Scott and Steve, we do occasionally listen to what you have to say. Sincere thanks to each of you ;-).
5 replies on “CIA Replaces Waterboarding With 12-Hour Lectures On Intersectional Feminism”
The attempted indoctrination of our intelligence agencies, the military and other government agencies is but one reason I believe the Democrats as a party should never again be trusted and thus are fatally wounded as a political organization.
Funny, but it lacks the satirical genius of the CIA’s actual output.
https://youtu.be/X55JPbAMc9g
The Left makes it SO difficult to produce Good Satire, because they treat each new satirical piece as a “double dog dare” to go beyond the absurd and ridiculous with all the seriousness of a myocardial infarction.
Yup, the satire and the news are almost indistinguishable.
My sincerest best wishes to everyone in the Whittle universe for a very, very happy and joyous Birthing Persons Day!!! Most importantly…
***Never let a good pronouncement of progressive insanity by the Democrats go to waste.***
Please wish the same to all of the females in your life including those you meet randomly in your comings and goings. You should do this regardless of the celebrant’s age as birthing persons from infant girls to classy ladies should be recognized for their place on the spectrum of reproductiveness!
I’m 100% serious. This is a GOLDEN opportunity to encourage millions of female, cis-gender, birthing person Democrats to walk away from the abortion that is the Democrat Party. Use the new label profusely and profoundly to let them and their significant others know that their party is officially bat guano crazy and sees them not as mothers and caregivers but simple birthing machines.
Plus, you know, an insult’s as good as a hug.
Not only is this a golden opportunity, it’s also a timeless silver bullet perfectly suited for breaking the silence imposed upon us by leftist censorship and mob threats of job loss or cancellation should we express our disagreement. Talk to neighbors and strangers alike. Use that quizzical look you receive in return for conveying “Happy Birthing Person’s Day” wishes to start a conversation. We need to start identifying, repairing and growing our connections with likeminded people in the “web of trust.”[1] Many sinews of that web have been severed through that silence forced upon us, and we need to commence and continue rebuilding it quick like.
Why is it a silver bullet you ask? Good question.
If there’s one person in the world that people value with few exceptions, it’s their mother. Dad was/is always great for discipline, protection, roughhousing and provision including the imparting of many gems of wisdom, and we love and respect him dearly for every single bit of it.
But then there’s mom.
Mom was/is always there to wipe away our tears, listen with a bent ear and heal our wounds. No person in the right mind WORLDWIDE is going to level any sort of criticism as we defend her. No one, that is, except the leftists who have lost…their…minds, thereby exposing themselves for the world to see.
So fire away! Use this God-given gift of a litmus test to start conversations with strangers. Connect with like-minded people in a humorous way who might have remained silent throughout this madness for fear of being criminalized as a racist, sexist, homophobe, transphobe, whatever. A few suggestions…
“Nice baby girl you have there! How precious!! I hope she grows up to embrace her status as a birthing person. You folks seem like such good people. I’m sure she will.”
“Hey honey! Happy Birthing Person’s Day!” Then duck and cover as your wife’s/girlfriend’s reflexes kick into gear.
“Brunch was fantastic! No, you can’t get us anything else. We are positively stuffed! Just be sure to have yourself a wonderful Birthing Person’s Day!”
“Doesn’t the bride look absolutely stunning? How wonderful! Isn’t she just SO lucky to be having her wedding on Birthing Person’s Day weekend?! (sniffle)”
“I know sweetheart. Boys stink, and life isn’t always fair. But look at it this way. No matter how old you get, you’ll always be my little birthing person.”
It’s a short hop from this conversation to critical race theory and all of the other leftist garbage we’ve been forcefed by the identity politicking leftist Democrats for the last 5-10 years with the help of their partners in crime in the liberal mainstream media.
Tops on our list should be exposing the spineless, useless school boards around the country who need to be voted out. Over the last twenty years, they’ve gone from abysmal failure at education…
…to blaming such failure on the punishment of the disruptive few being due to systemic racism…
…to now attempting to blame some of our children by teaching them that racism runs through their veins as descendants of colonialists who “founded America in 1619 and built it with slavery” while continuing to damage the remainder of our children by telling them that their efforts at success will be forever hamstrung by a society that has it out for them due to the color of their skin.
And all of this lecturing from a hypocritical teachers’ union now using our children as leverage–inflicting further damage upon them–as they selfishly seek higher pay and benefits while keeping our schools closed supposedly to preserve their own skin despite being among the first to be vaccinated.
Enough. But I digress.
Last but not least, Birthing Person’s Day is an effective, eternal blunt instrument if I ever saw one. It’s a 2″x4″ which will sit in the corner to be used by our descendants to figuratively crack some dumbass leftist upside the head should they ever dare to again take the stage.
Should that occur, males and females alike will be able to just turn to their mothers, sisters and daughters and say, “Remember that time in our history when the left tried to label you all ‘birthing persons’?”
“You’re going to fire me for what? I don’t think so. Happy Birthing Person’s Day!”
We should be planning parades and writing songs to commemorate this glorious self-destruction of the left for generations to come. Hallmark should make cards. Jewelry stores should run commercials. Pastors should be preaching it to congregations, and former President Trump should endorse it with a rally. The month of May should be known heretofore as “Birthing Person’s Month.” None of us should ever miss a chance to celebrate this happy occasion.
To the ash heap of history with cancel culture and along with it our frustrations. No longer must we carry the yoke of its oppression. Gone are the days of being labeled a racist, sexist, transphobe or whatever for daring to hold a different point of view. Reclaim free speech and if ever challenged, wish someone a Happy Birthing Person’s Day.
It’s the gift that will keep on giving.
Let’s get back to civil conversation among adults and a web of trust we can all rely upon. Wish someone a “Happy Birthing Person’s Day!” today. Say it loud, and say it proud.
Happy hunting!!! It’s leftist season.
P.S. This post dedicated to my own mom. R.I.P. You’re still the best!
[1] “Destroying the Web of Trust” https://youtu.be/a3IsKG8CoNo…yes, Bill, Scott and Steve, we do occasionally listen to what you have to say. Sincere thanks to each of you ;-).