As young men chase after what women want, and behave according to the models they see in the pop culture, women turn away. Manhood is being confident in your actual self. That’s what women find attractive. How authenticity and comfort in your own skin transforms a young man into a magnet for women, and leadership opportunity.
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Video below hosted at Rumble.
50 replies on “Manhood: Being Confident in Your Actual Self is What Women Find Attractive”
Since I’ve been married to the same woman for 57 years, I have learned a few things about how to have marital longevity, but one thing stands out above all: never, ever hurt your spouse on a basic existential level. In a marriage you naturally come to know your spouse’s deepest fears, regrets, and, most important, vulnerabilities. Of course my wife and I have been angry, enraged even, with each other over the years but there were boundaries which we instinctively never stepped over. For example: my wife had an abortion before she met me and has been haunted by it ever since. To have thrown that in her face in an argument would have crossed a marital Rubicon, and nothing would have been the same afterwards no matter how much longer we stayed together. She has the power to do something similar to me, but never has. So my hard earned advice is to keep the inevitable marital disputes on the issue at hand and NEVER attack your spouse in a place where he or she is vulnerable on a basic human level.
Will this be down loadable later today?
Sounds like you have the kind of marriage I have. We never yell at each other. There’s never been a “fight”. 29 years.
There are limits beyond which neither of us WILL go. And we both know those limits in each other, and we don’t push. Because why would we? This is not a competition. It’s a team effort, us against the world.
Oh, we snap every now and then. We’re not perfect. But we recognize it quickly, realize what we’ve done, and an actual sincere apology is issued (not demanded, never demanded). Just issued.
Well … I DO apologize if it turns out I was wrong. It happens.
So does she.
Life becomes so much … better?
I saw Ted Cruz’s dad, a pastor state something that I found powerful. In love/marriage a man needs to be/feel respected and a woman needs to be/feel loved. I thought this to be profound. Blessings to you all.
respectfully bruce, i would disagree. profound statements are usually (self evident) truths not half truths.
example:
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”
Winston Churchill
Or this:
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”― George Carlin
So I have been a fan of Ted Cruz. Didn’t know until now that his dad was a pastor.
Cool.
why are 93% of k-12 teachers (and admin) females?
why are the other 7% almost exclusively beta male enabling eunuchs?
why are alpha male role models kept out of k-12?
why do teachers unions ‘always’ support d’rat causes?
why do boys get the short straw in k-12? deny that?
why are 60%+ (and climbing) of college students female?
why are 70%+ of student loan debt carried by females?
do rhitalin, soy, title 1X and revisionist history negatively effect boys or girls?
is k-12 tantamount to child abuse and destroying america?
My husband and I will celebrate our 33rd anniversary in a few months. Of course there have been arguments with voices raised, but in the end we are partners on the same team. There is no competition between us; neither of us is above or subservient to the other. I’m truly grateful for him and the life we’ve built together and look forward to many more anniversaries.
Check your ego at the door, and learn what is worth a battle and what is not. Assuming you are both good people with good intentions, you should let the small stuff go, because most arguments are about small stuff. No need to turn them into a battle of wills and ego. If it is something major, stand your ground, but stay calm and firm as you explain your position.
My father once told me that after sex, a man has had a workout and all he wants to do is go to sleep. A woman wants to talk to reassure herself that what she’s just done was the right thing with the right person. Take the time to talk if you care about your relationship. Also never go to bed mad. You will never get any sleep and it will fester forever.
In my life I’ve found this is a good policy but it needs refinement due to circumstances at the time.
My first sexual encounter was the woman I married and she passed after 35 years. Not all perfect, but what marriage is.
Re: John Wayne and opening closed doors. Nothing is a better example of all of this than John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara in THE QUIET MAN.
Same movie I thought about. There is a line in there from either the priest or the reverend about a woman needing to respect the man she is married to. And while you don’t want to fight over money, are you willing to fight for her respect?
Other than the fact they were both 10-15 years too old for the roles, it is one of his best acting performances.
She put her head on your shoulder, that slayed me.
I was 19 when I went to a party and met the 20 year old girl that became my wife 3 years later (i.e., after graduation). She was one of the few unattached girls at this particular party, so we danced and talked, etc. But on the ride back to her dorm at nursing school, she was tired and laid her head on my shoulder. That was not yet the signal that she was the one, but I was pleasantly surprised that she trusted me enough to do that.
In my own way, I’ve kinda made men the research project of my life. I’ve had ample opportunity to watch men and their reactions from a distance and they’ve been a constant amusing and joyful learning experience for me. As far as love between a man and woman, an old song comes to mind. Richard Chamberlain (remember Dr. Kildare?) put out an album with the song, “A Quiet Kind Of Love”included and it really was true. The passion will fade to comfortable and love becomes a solid, eternal connection. A wonderful and wise man once told me that if a man does everything he knows to make his wife happy, and a woman does everything she knows to make her husband happy, then neither person will be unhappy. I loved that wise man in that quiet kind of way from when I was barely 18 until he left this world about 15 years ago. I am 70 now and have a lifetime of ups and downs to reflect on, but the words to that song stayed with me all along.I would advise young men, and women, to look for someone who fills them with that kind of love because after the passion they’ll want someone to be comfortable and secure with. Oh, and make sure the basis of your relationship is laughing together, it can get you through the roughest times with a stronger love than you had before.
The word you are looking for, Bill, is serene…
When you are with the one you are meant to be with, there is a serenity that comes with it.
Every woman wants a man who can cry – as long as he absolutely, never, ever does it in front of her…
Generally true. But the reason is important. If he’s crying because of incredible beauty, or another’s loss, no so much. Shortest verse in the Bible: “Jesus wept.” John 11:35.
Fair enough. To clarify, I meant cry in weakness…and witnessing beauty isn’t weakness. Most women do in fact understand if a man does cry in weakness, and if you are married long enough I suspect it will happen eventually.. but it breaks some of the illusion of security each time it is done, and you never get it back. As for the losses of others, I generally subscribe to Jordan Peterson’s view that one should aspire to be the strong one everyone else can depend on and lean on at a funeral. Jesus is alone at being able to raise the dead.
So I feel the need to post this, just because it keeps to my character.
I noticed that as my father aged into his late 70’s and 80’s, he seemed to cry more (or more readily) than he had as a younger man. Now that I am passing through that age level I find myself tearing up more easily at emotional things or stories, where that would not have occurred when I was younger. Right now I attribute it to hormone changes occurring with age, but not sure if that is true.
Stop the Peter Pan syndrome where boys never grow up.
I’m beginning to hate Rumble. It’s the autoplay after watching a video I selected (like this one here on Bill Whittle) that really ticks me off.
After watching this video discussion between Bill and Zo I was sitting thinking about it for a few seconds and autoplay started up very loudly, way louder than Bill and Zo because I had not changed any volume settings, and the video was titled …
“Attractive Obese Women”
The subject was young, curvy women in bathing suits with the camera lingering on breasts and groins.
I watched about thirty seconds of it and shut it off. I am not at all interested in young women of any sort. I do not trifle with children, and being over the age of consent doesn’t disqualify them as children in my view.
I sat here gob-smacked that Rumble would consider that a suitable follow on video to this one. I was astounded that anyone would think those young women were fat. I was pissed off as hell about the over volume (if you could see the system I’m on, you’d understand. It’s connected to a Yamaha 5.1.2 receiver and a full surround sound speaker system. The volume startled the hell out of me.) This blew my concentration and appreciation for what Bill and Zo were talking about all to bits.
It’s just not acceptable. I have scoured the internet looking for a way to turn that autoplay feature off on Rumble and can’t find anything that will do that. After watching a Bill Whittle video I should not have to maintain an eternal vigilance every time to stop the next video from playing.
I know a lot of people hate YouTube but YouTube doesn’t do that. YouTube works correctly. Personally, I wish Bill and Co. would go back to YouTube hosted videos until Rumble gets their act together. I only care about the end results. When I watch something on this site I want to cogitate, ruminate, consider, think about what was said and then decide what if any comment I’m going to post. That’s damned hard to do with “Attractive Obese Women” blaring in my ears and scantily clad girl’s boob-and-crotch shots parading across my screen.
This seriously ticked me off. Maybe you noticed?
I don’t know if anyone else is seeing just a link to the Rumble video on the posts this week. Just a link — no embedded videos or thumbnail images. This leads me to a potential work around to your sound woes: open the video in a seaprate browser tab or window, and then close that tab/window when the video is done. This provides the added benefit of commenting and rating on this site without the risk of interrupting the stream (I’ve heard somewhere that you’re not supposed to cross those).
I typically use the Rumble App on my phone, butthat has its own set of issues above and beyond the smartphone tracking that drives paranoids like me up the wall.
Thanks David but I’m aware of how to handle audio on web videos. I appreciate the effort and that you took the time to answer me but that’s not the problem.
I had watched and listened to the BW video at the correct audio levels. So the audio volume is already correctly adjusted. The problem is lack of audio leveling from Rumble where one video is transmitted at a different volume than another. This isn’t my main peeve though, I’m OK with adjusting audio level per video. That’s no big deal.
Unless a subsequent video starts to autoplay all on its own. That’s the real problem here. It just so happened that this time it also started itself at a high volume level.
Frankly, I do not believe Rumble is a better platform than YouTube. The problem with YouTube is censorship, not the technical aspects of the platform. The technical aspects of Rumble are pretty terrible and as you say, on a smartphone that’s a separate set of issues.
I don’t use my phone to watch videos at all, unless I’m working on something outside where my wireless doesn’t reach a pad or tablet. On multiple acres of land here that’s also not a problem, I have a fairly robust wifi system and I get a good enough wifi signal everywhere on the property.
I mostly use my phone for phone calls, infrequent text messages, smart home functions, navigation, hotspotting and audio book playback. Sometimes if the phone is all I have I use it for RadarScope but I have better devices for that kind of thing. I’m looking at a 65 inch screen* while I type this, I hate trying to do things on tiny little phone screens with crappy screen keyboards.
I understand why people don’t want to support YouTube by watching it, but I’d rather do that than live with a technically inept platform that shows me closeups of butts and boobs at high volume automatically and with neither my consent nor awareness that’s what’s coming.
(*I build my own systems and the system I’m usually on is a monster of a computer. It has 6 monitors, the largest of which is a 65 inch smart TV.)
Ah … yes. That is always annoying. I’ve experienced similar audio leveling problems with YT as well. I agree that Rumble, both the web site and the phone app, leaves a lot to be desired. I despise the fact that I cannot disable the autoplay with some parts of the Rumble web site and the embedded videos elsewhere. I suppose we get what we “pay” for, and Rumble doesn’t have fees to post or stream videos as far as I know.
I saw the link to that follow-on video you described, and I agree it was inappropriately associated with BW’s and Zo’s video. I made a concerted effort to not let it start. I agree that we should not have to deal with such nonsense; however, I am equally annoyed by most of the inane and repetitive advertising on the YT platform, and it is often too loud.
I keep forgetting that not everyone is watching YT on a computer and that YT has intrusive ads. Sorry about that,
I block all those ads so all I see is the video with no interruptions. In Firefox I get no ads at all, in Chrome there is sometimes a static ad when the video starts that I can click “Skip Ads”, which then the ads go away and the video plays uninterrupted.
If you think about it, what I’m doing is a great way to shaft YouTube. YT has a fairly complex monetizing scheme but the gist of it is that they get revenue for played ads. The more page landings/subscriptions any given content provider gets, the more valuable the ads to both the content creator and YouTube. YT doesn’t make a dime on me, in fact they lose money because they have to pay for bandwidth they don’t get any revenue from my viewing to cover. But the content creators don’t make any money on me either so while it’s a thumb in the eye of YT it’s also not completely fair to the content creators.
Frankly I don’t care. My page landings and the subscriptions I have increase the value of the ads on their pages and as far as I’m concerned it’s a wash.
There are sites that are savvy to this and they do live ads during their shows. Daily Wire is a good example of this. The host just plugs a sponsor during the video, with Daily Wire it’s usually several sponsors. That’s fine with me, if I’m sitting at the computer I can jump the ads on the timeline if I want, it makes no difference to the content creator. Usually I just let them run because I’m doing something else while the video plays anyway. No problem in those cases with volume leveling either.
Thanks for the reminder. I didn’t realize that my ad blocker now blocks YT ads. I just had to turn it on. This is great!
You’re most welcome.
It would be my opinion that it’s best, because of the maturity and function of the platform, for people to use YouTube and deprive them of their ad revenue with ad blockers. You get better playback, your page landings, subscriptions and comments boost the content creator, and you’re not really supporting YouTube financially, at least not in any direct fashion.
Using an ad blocker on YouTube, you take more than you give.
which ad blocker(s) do you recommend?
Depends on the browser. In FireFox I use a combination of Adblock, Adblock Plus (not the same addon as Adblock), AdBlock for YouTube (again not the same addon as Adblock) and Malwarebytes Browser Guard (I highly recommend having Malwarebytes Premium running on your Windows machines) and NoScript. There’s a bit of a learning curve with NoScript but it’s not too bad.
For Chrome I use Adblock, Adblock Plus, Malwarebytes Browser Guard and uMatrix. The uMatrix program is a script blocker like NoScript.
Script blockers take a bit of learning to use. With them you can block out anything that “runs” on a page so you can fine tune a pageload to only do what you want it to.
I.E. when I adjust it properly I can watch all the videos on Fox News with no commercials or ads at all. I just let the video through, not the ad servers and their scripts. It takes a little experimentation. Then of course Fox changes something and the video won’t play either, so I have to go back and tweak the script blocker again.
I just hate ads and refuse to watch them. So I pretty much never see one. (I never get a telemarketer call either, hate them too. If it can be done with tech, it can be blocked by tech.)
I haven’t watched a TV ad in years. I download the shows I want to watch (or use NetFlix, Primevideo, etc.) but that’s a horse of a different color and probably not a good thing to discuss on BillWhittle.com … Argghhh, Matey!
I’m currently only using AdBlock Plus for Firefox. It is essentially a install it and forget it tool, but it can be customized some. I have not yet tried this in chrome … just lazy I suppose.
Bill’s Rumble links used to autoplay, but now they haven’t for me. IDK what changed but it definitely is more to my liking.
Yeah, I wish it worked that way for me too. I don’t know what to do about it but I really, really hate that autoplay stuff.
The Rumble auto-play stopped for me quite some time back. Including this one. Haven’t had one that moved on for a while. I didn’t change any settings anywhere. Weird.
Men want security, just as much as women. Security for men is not so much about physical or economic safety but trustworthiness, dependability, and willing mutual support.
Amen. When I was younger I looked for some woman to complete me. When I let that go and just focused on living my life & making the most of my time on this Earth did things turn around for me. Or as Sister babe likes to say when I tell her stories from my 20s, “I’m not sure I would have liked you back then”
Ha! My wife and I often wonder that we didn’t meet while we were in college, but several years later. I have told her that she would not have liked me in college.
My wife and I have discussed meeting in college — she was a freshman and I was a sophomore. I’ve often said that I did not like her when we met. It wasn’t until seven years later that I had matured enough to realize that she was the strong woman needed to tolerate the likes of me. Our “bliss” (she would likely dismiss that word as tripe) has lasted for nearly twenty-six years, and it should last awhile longer as long as I don’t screw it up.
I wish I had understood this, that it is this and … well it’s not ONLY this but just how BIG this is … when I was younger.
Took me a while and the love of a good woman to gain that confidence, so I eventually got past it, but not before years of confused frustration.
For most men: Genesis 2:18: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Most men do better wIth a woman in their life. (Note: This was said by God when Adam was in the perfection that was the garden. It still missed something.)
No woman wants a wimp.
It’s the rare woman who won’t bully a wimpy man, especially if he is her husband. Her respect dwindles with every capitulation, every sign of subservience, every indication of intimidation. A highly agreeable man would be wise to mate with a highly agreeable woman, otherwise….not good.
That last sentence sounds like the makings of a different kind of hell. 😉
“What do you want to do, Dear?”
“I dunno. What do you wanna do?
“Now don’t go startin’ that again!”
Good point – maybe not so wise for 2 uber-agreeables to mate. The old bromide that moderation is best is still a good way to go.
Speaking strictly for myself, the man with whom I get along most harmoniously has a moderately short fuse for putting up with me beating my point to death, ignores me when I’m overly emotional without good cause, and respectfully listens to my opinion before graciously and sincerely agreeing, or gently pointing out the flaws in my argument and persuading me to change my mind. He seeks my advice, but has no problem making the final decision, defends it with facts, and shuts off further discussion. Yep, I want a man who demonstrates confidence and authority. In general women in some situations are like children who need boundaries. A strong, confident man provides them.
I like a good argument based on fair rules, even though I sometimes descend into emotionality. When I do that, I expect my man to disengage from the argument, because it’s no longer an argument but a rant. A man with a weak ego can’t argue with a woman who defends her points with facts from a position of knowledge. A man with a strong ego won’t argue with a woman who allows her emotions to be in full-throttle control.
True … there are incompatible types out there, and the sad part is I think at first they FEEL compatible, like the one you pick is making up for something you lack. I’ve watched it happen several times. Always the same disaster.
But even when you pick the right type, you’ve stil gotta have a two-way respect going.
Respect is a key component in the marital relationship. Men prize it and are very responsive to it. Respect must be earned by both parties, ideally before marriage vows are taken. Respect doesn’t get the respect it deserves😉
Why, it’s almost as if men and women have some inherent biological differences that makes them . . .different people. Well, this is just mind-blowing. I bet you could write a book on the subject of how different men and women are. Almost as if we’re from different planets. What could we call it that would be memorable?
{Really thought that book was older. Only 1992. Thought for sure it was a product of the 70s, but I guess the author was a product of that time}
Let’s take this out of the human realm for a moment and have a look at it objectively with an outside view.
Imagine a planet in another star system that has developed life and marine cephalopod or octopus-like creatures are the dominant intelligence on that world.
The female is oviparous, she lays eggs, which the male fertilizes. Someone has to stay around and hatch those eggs and the female is more invested in that than the male, so she does that. If she did not then the species would long ago have died out.
While the female is tending to the eggs and subsequent hatchlings, the male brings her food. This allows her to devote most of her time to her offspring.
So the male hunts and when he’s not hunting he guards the female and the eggs/hatchlings.
The hatchlings develop and grow. Some are male, some are female. We know from observing earthly cephalopods that they can learn. The male young learn how to do what males need to do in order to preserve the species, the females learn from the mother how to tend to the nest and care for the brood.
Pretty simple. We see examples of this in nature here on Earth all the time. Male birds gather food and female birds sit on the nest. It is a logical, proven means of bringing the young to reproductive age and assuring the species niche in the ecosystem.
When this proven method of producing and rearing young is abandoned, the species declines.
Coming back to Earth — In the U.S., fertility rates have fallen below replacement rates, hitting a historic low of 1.7 in 2019. The statistics are even worse in poorer countries as there birth rates have fallen at an unprecedented rate.
Could this be because the “mommy octopuses” have abandoned their female role and the “daddy octopuses” have likewise neglected their male roles? Isn’t that a working definition of radical feminism?
Isn’t it weird that “progressive” people who tout nature and science would defy both nature and science to the point where they place their own species in decline?
One of the more disturbing forms of virtue signalling I see in discussions elsewhere on the ‘net involves people decrying how horrible and parasitic their own species, Homo Sapiens, is? Of those who do that, what’s even more disturbing is that those same people do not even consider themselves when slagging on humanity in general. They talk about how terrible people are without realizing that they do the exact same things as all those “horrible other people”.
There’s a cognitive disconnect in people who talk about how horrible humanity treats the planet by means of an electronic device chock full of toxic substances and non-degradable plastics. People who claim they want to abandon the science and technology that support humanity — While professing their concern and love for the poor and downtrodden whose lot deteriorates in direct proportion to the success of their policies.
I don’t think we need to get rid of the electronic devices, I think it would profit humanity far more to get rid of the people who are causing the decline of our species at a far higher rate than any of the things they shed all those crocodile tears over. That type of human being obviously contains the seeds of our own destruction and ought to be weeded out.
I see this as indisputable, the real question is how to do it while retaining our own humanity.