Is ‘honor’ a man thing, because it requires a kind of ultimate sacrifice that falls almost exclusively to males? In part one of a mini-series on honor and shame, Bill Whittle and Zo Rachel explore the weight of the burden of honor.
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Video below hosted at Rumble.
25 replies on “It’s a Man Thing: Honor Requires Ultimate Sacrifice, a Burden Almost Exclusively Male”
I have not watch the new Star Trek for obvious reasons, and I don’t intend to. And I agree that the woke crowd is destroying everything that is normal. For instance the gaming world of which I am a part of. The latest he is far cry 6. They are made the hero a woman named Dani who runs around carrying heavy rocket launchers on her back of all things. This sort of thing is not going to stop until men start standing up against it. Man up!
I think the word you were looking for is “hoplite” for a Spartan warrior. Helots were the serfs in the Spartan kingdom.
I have to put in a bit of disagreement here. Honor is not only a male thing. Traditional honor is, however, based upon the classic role of the individual in society. A man’s honor was based upon his integrity and courage. A woman’s honor was her virginity before marriage and her fidelity afterwards. Women gave up their “honor” years ago. Many men seem to be working on abandoning theirs as fast as possible. I don’t see much chance for traditional values to return. I’m just hoping something more civil than we are seeing now can replace them.
My comments about the “Honor” issue may best be explained by reading the latest post on my website, titled “Molon Labe”. Here’s the link: https://wp.me/p7RFUu-19O
When it comes to a lack of honor, what comes to mind is Harry Reid and “Well, it worked didn’t it?” As the absolute antithesis of honor.
“I can’t depend on you.” I am an active pro-lifer and have read many studies of why women decide to have an abortion. One of the most frequent reasons is that they are quite sure they can’t depend on the man in their lives. So if a woman decides to allow the baby to live, she knows she will have to be strong. And, of course, the babies have no choice. However, given a strong mother, they have a chance.
Even the weak ones have a choice, they could give the baby up for adoption to a home where it would be cherished.
“I can’t depend on you” I’m afraid is an excuse for “I can’t be inconvenienced for 9 months and then go through the pain of giving up a living baby. It’s much more convenient to kill that same baby much earlier on.”
Plus the question begs itself — “What they hell are these women doing making babies with undependable men in the first place?” We’ve known what causes pregnancy and how to prevent it for many decades now.
I often wonder if the solution to the abortion problem isn’t a male birth control pill. Distributed for free at taxpayer expense. Too bad we’re too busy enhancing virus functions to spend more time and effort on that.
There is a pernicious philosophy that is unfortunately active in this situation. It is that if you give up responsibility for your child by setting up an adoption, you are a BAD mother, that it is kinder to kill the baby in abortion rather than “abandon” the child. That makes no sense to me and I’m sure it makes no sense to you. But it’s there and it’s a pervasive point of view. The only thing that can counter it is getting the woman to a pro-life pregnancy center where they will explain about (1) the help available to her if she decides to parent and (2) the myriad of varieties of adoption options available should she decide on adoption and (3) the fact that she holds the power that everyone around her says she doesn’t have. .
You bring up an excellent point: why is she making babies with someone she can’t depend on. It’s because “he loves me” (at least for the moment) and that means everything to her. Doesn’t matter that he’s a tin-plated jerk who abuses her and loves nobody but himself. Her life may be so chaotic that he is the best thing in it… that is, until she gets to a pregnancy help center where they will gently give her a better look at reality.
What a sad state of affairs we’ve come to that a human mother is so egocentric that she would kill her own child rather than see it live without her.
Just recently we saw barbarian savages throwing their children over barbed wire and concrete wall to Marines just so their children could live. While here the “civilized” world outright encourages mothers to kill their babies.
If there were some way to unpopularize that practice and show it for what it really is. It’s no more and no less than sacrificing children to Moloch or Baal. Now the high priest is an abortionist, the alter a gyno table and the flames a garbage incinerator but the aim is the same. Destroy innocent young humans in an attempt to get a better deal out of life.
When Bill talks about “fighting the culture wars” this is what he means.
When Texas passed it’s anti-abortion laws recently they left something out. The new laws do not criminalize abortion rather they allow civil suit action against any participant in the process. They should have included a requirement for a DNA sample to be taken and catalogued from each aborted baby. That way a father who did not give his consent, or grandparents who would have taken the baby, etc. can sue for damages and prove they have standing. That would have sucked the abortion system dry of cash in short order.
There is another “pernicious philosophy” that is alive and well. That is that the baby is better dead than born to parent(s) that either cannot afford to support it or do not want it in the first place. This ugly philosophy is the go-to defense by all supporters of abortion whom I’ve met and debated. Perhaps these ugly people are correct, since the child will inevitably be accepted into its Creator’s care. Therein lies the root of the problem: these vile people do not typically ascribe to the idea of a Creator; therefore, they do not value any life but their own — regardless of any denials. Sadly, such egocentricity, as ACTS stated below, permeates the human condition, and that hubris is a difficult beast to defeat.
Nothing says dishonor like Gen Chris Donahue!
Honor comes in many forms and includes tiny actions, such as giving back extra change to a cashier who miscounted. Anyone can be honorable.
I think hero should be reserved for those who put their lives in peril for others. Many want to be a hero, but the definition cannot be changed without diluting the sacrifice real heroes have made. It is harder for a woman to be a hero because of her physical limitations (on average). I’m female, and I understand it. Luckily, I don’t have a hero complex but instead greatly admire those who have the courage to sacrifice for others.
Is it really conceivable to have a young female brandishing a huge sword? No. Everyone knows that. But if the young woman is beautiful, men (young and old) will pay to watch it.
I want a trillion dollar coin made of platinum!
Given recent events, it seems to me that the GOP is the Adam to the USA (as Eve), and the Dems the serpent. All of whom are failing the test.
The real part of the Garden story starts as “Adam, where are you?”
I never thought of it that way, but it’s true. That was the issue. Adam was the head of his family and responsible. Eve gave in to temptation, and Adam was presumably present. I’m not letting Eve off, but Adam was the head.
Here’s a great sermon/message on this topic:
https://cdn.pbc.org/Main_Service/1997/11/15/4558.pdf
catalog for the series: https://www.pbc.org/messages/god-said-where-are-you
The reason so many men today seem relieved by these women being depicted as the hero who can do everything a man can do and better is that they are weak, they see these things and think that they don’t have to carry the burden of being a man. It gives them a fig leaf to hide their shame behind.
Great presentation, Bill and Alfonzo. I look forward to your follow-on.
Tell me not (Sweet) I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly.
True, a new mistress now I chase,
The first foe in the field;
And with a stronger faith embrace
A sword, a horse, a shield.
Yet this inconstancy is such
As you too shall adore;
I could not love thee (Dear) so much,
Lov’d I not Honour more.
To Lucasta, Going to the Wars – Richard Lovelace
This is what cost me my first marriage and the love of my life. She could not bear to sit at home while I took on the things that threaten that very home. She could not tolerate the minutes, hours, days, weeks and more waiting for a strange vehicle to pull on the yard, for two men of formal and grave mien walking to the door to tell her I wouldn’t be coming home again.
So she found someone else with less honor. I don’t blame her and neither should you. Nor do I regret having stood up and lost my place to someone who would pursue a woman wearing a wedding ring while the counterpart to that ring was off doing the things I did. I have no love or respect for that man but he was only giving her what she needed. If not him, some other would have taken that role eventually. I have many regrets, this is not one of them.
In this matter my only regret is involving someone like her with someone like me in the first place. You only get one life and hers was a very hard and unhappy one while she waited for that unfamiliar car to come down our driveway.
This honor thing, it’s not cheap if it’s real.
Thank you for sharing a very personal example. The man I was married to for 35 years and the father of our only child pursued his profession with the dedication and fortitude required to support our family and serve his profession. Late in the first decade of our marriage I began to resent his work and feel marginalized – always running second place it seemed to his work. I admonished and explained and complained that I needed more from him, without understanding that he was giving all he had to give. Eventually, I made the decision that he was not responsible for my happiness, life-satisfaction, well-being or anything else, and found a way to meet the needs he couldn’t. I deeply regret and am ashamed of how I met those needs, but for a long time I held on to the delusion that it was his fault. No. It wasn’t his fault. I simply didn’t have the character or morals to behave honorably. We divorced 7 years ago, after many years of harmony but lacking in trust. Similar to your case, his honor and my dishonor led to the end of our marriage.
Thank you for opening up. My Godson is a Marine and very much at the sharp end of the spear given his current position. He is dating a very nice young lady and several months back during a visit he asked for some sage advise from his silver-haired Godfather. The most important thing I could think of was to tell him to make sure that she knew the life she would be accepting before moving forward.
So after finishing her MS degree she got a job near him and is assimilating into his world.
Ronette recently visited her cousin and I was very happy to hear that he has a tremendous support group and the young Marines (both M and F) and there spouses spend a great deal of time together, so that when they are deployed, those left behind are not alone.
I don’t know if this is sufficient for her to deal with the stress of not knowing his status, but at the least she is going in eyes wide open and will have a family of fellow travelers to support her.
Now, the fact that Ronette seems to be smitten by one of his fellow mates who is also at the very sharp end; well dad is not too happy about that but early days for that as yet.
The problem is that when you’re young you tend to think that “love conquers all”. It doesn’t. Not emotional love anyway. The other kind of love, real love where you’ve made a commitment with not only your heart but your head, can be sorely tried in this kind of situation also.
Before I say another word let me first tell you how amazing it is and how grateful I am that there are still decent young women who recognize a hero as something positive. I’ve served with people like your Godson and I consider every single one of them heroes. Because I know what it’s like out there in the cold and dark too. It’s not for everyone and unless a man does something to forfeit the title, he should be thought of as heroic. Because that’s just what he is. It’s a hard row to hoe.
With that out of the way I have some advice for both the person serving and the lady who thinks she might like to spend her life with him …
For HER -WAIT. You need to know you’re up to this kind of thing and you will not know that with certainty until you’ve sat at home wondering if your life is over. If he doesn’t come home, you can start again but everything you foresaw your life to be ended out there somewhere days or weeks before you were even aware of it.
That takes a certain kind of person too, and it is no less heroic than the man out there in the bugs and the mud (or sometimes in my case in civilian clothes in a strange land crawling around the seedy underbelly of that society) and it takes a heroine to fill that role. He needs your support, he’s actually better off without you if you can’t give it 110% all the time.
So wait until you and he have the experience together to know how that’s going to shake out. I know the wives of SEALS, Marine Raiders(it’s a very, very different thing than an Army Ranger) and other Tier 1 types who do handle that OK. They get a lot of help from the other wives and friends. They still worry but they have found a way to put that worry on the back burner and not let it dominate their thought environment.
If you can’t do that, you can’t. It’s no dishonor or disservice on your part but you and your guy will be a lot better off if you just go find some nice investment councilor or middle management type and settle down to raise an American Family. If the kind of life that goes with being married to a serviceman, a cop, a federal agent or anything like that is going to break you, then don’t pursue that kind of man.
Something very very important to think about — If you have kids and you leave him, your kids will know you’re broken. They’ll always see him as the hero and you the villain assuming of course that he was otherwise a good father and husband when he was able to fill that role. No one you meet in the future is going to be able to measure up to their Dad in your kids eyes. It’s a hell of a thing to do to a kid because that basically means he’ll never have a normal, fruitful home life despite the fact that you brought a man into the house. That guy will know it too, and he’ll resent your kids and you for it. It’s a hell of a thing to do to any future husband too.
For HIM – WAIT and watch carefully. If she is hurt by your absence beyond her capacity to cope, she’ll let you know. She will obliquely bring up leaving the service, or encourage you to get a more ‘normal’ billet in the service, or she’ll say things like “You love your ol’ guns more than you love me” … Etc. Those are all warning signs that she’s not the kind of person that can kick herself out of what ever brooding she’s doing when you get that rare phone call home and be upbeat about it.
Trust me on this one, you’re not going to want her to unload all her problems on you and expect you to solve them thousands of miles away from home. You can’t solve them as a rule and all that does is take your mind off what you’re doing. Which can be fatal to you and a disaster for her.
It’s not that you are not a good husband and don’t want to solve your wife’s problems, protect her, help her, and do all the things that a middle management husband ought to be doing. It’s that your job is to keep her safe by protecting your home from those who would do you, and her, and everyone else here badly. It’s a higher calling than solving problems with the trash pickup or leaking roof. If she doesn’t understand that and complains about such things, she’s telling you she’s in unmanageable pain at your absence. It’s not that the trash or the roof are insurmountable, it’s that you’re gone that’s insurmountable.
Lastly, for both — The poem I cited above is very accurate. Conflict is like a mistress and you can get mighty good at tweaking her nobs and stroking her … sensitive parts. That can be mighty sweet in its own strange way. Even ol’ Winnie Churchill made remarks to that effect. It’s a real thing.
I’m not saying any sane person wants mortal confrontation, no one does. but there’s a story that illustrates my point. It’s from Afghanistan where a conversation was intercepted between a Taliban Irregular unit leader and his superior. The unit leader was trying and failing to describe his problems. Finally in exasperation he said “But sir, you don’t understand. These Marines run towards gunfire.”
You damn straight they do. That’s where the bad guys are. You’re not going to get your share if you go the other way.
That’s just the way it has to be.
I could say a lot more, I could probably be a chaplain specializing in this sort of stuff just by weight of a lifetime of experience and observation. I’m not interested in that, I have enough problems of my own to solve.
One of the major roots of this problem was the lowering of physcal standards to get more women into combat / law enforcement / fire fighting front line roles. I take no shame in admitting that I can’t perform at the same level as the guy who could play college level football, and likewise there are other ways to serve in those professions if it’s anyone’s true calling
The only times that lowering standards are acceptable are 1) If they are too high to prevent realistic fulfillment or 2) It’s 3:00 AM
Right now my only comment on this is: Great minds think alike. I was thinking about Bill doing honor and shame. Even to the point of contacting him to suggest it. Freaky.