Mr. Whittle, you made a thoughtless and rude comment about women in their 80’s, during the 9/26 Back Stage Episode. There was a time when you were asking for financial support to be able to expand programming, and described those of us who jumped in, as “the best people”. An apology is in order, or I will continue to get my exposure to Steve Greene commentary elsewhere. Deb Hall
Categories
11 replies on “I May Drop My Support…”
She never responded, so I guess she went away angry. And it was a misunderstanding, as far as I can gather, so maybe she is embarrassed over her comment. OR she’s a woman who must have drama in her life at any cost (real, perceived, or manufactured), something I’ve never understood. If she’s the latter, maybe she’s better off having left.
I read your comment and couldn’t remember Bill saying anything disparaging about women in their 80’s. So I went back and watched the whole episode again just to see if I could catch the thing you’re talking about. Which means I gave your complaint enough weight to spend more than an hour of my life on it. Not including thinking about what you said and formulating then writing my opinion on what you said. I’m sure you wanted to be taken seriously so I obliged. As a member of the fairer sex, in my viewpoint you’re entitled to that.
Are you talking about the Civil War beards quip? Where Bill said that women in their 80’s are probably familiar with those beards basically implying that they lived in that era? That was the only thing in the episode that I heard which would apply to your complaint so I’m going to assume that’s what you’re talking about. If I’m mistaken by all means correct me.
If that’s what it was that irked you, you’re being way oversensitive. Bill and everyone else knows that was a good natured joke and that women in their 80’s didn’t actually live during the Civil War. It was an absurdity.
That said, you can certainly be overly sensitive about whatever you like. Including jokes about women your age. You can also choose to support whatever platforms you want to, or not. You can also choose to complain about any perceived slight you might imagine. Your choices are your own.
All of that is your own business.
Demanding an apology is unwarranted. No one meant to offend you personally. It’s not possible nor desirable for everyone to guard every single word they say, especially spontaneously, for fear they might offend someone somewhere. Someone who chooses to be outraged over an unguarded quip.
Being outraged over a misperceived offense is what our political enemies do. If it’s not OK for them to demand we all change the way we say things because we just might accidentally offend them … It’s not OK for us to do so either. I think it’s reasonable to expect us to be better than that.
You do whatever it is you think you need to do.
Debra may have taken the joke to imply that women in their 80’s HAVE beards. I know 3 women in their eighties, and no beard s and no real facial hair at all. Have known some women that could stand to shave every so often however!
That said, I believe you are right.. It’s a joke in any case. Unless she has had issues about such things in the past, she is being too sensitive.
That being said, she has the right to demand an apology. But not to change everything Bill says. I’m sure Bill would apologize, and say it was a joke, no offence meant. I do it myself when called for
Considering my bullying, I almost should be very sensitive. If good natured, I laugh. If not I ignore it. I know who I am and ignore jerks.
Hirsute old ladies … It’s a thing but I don’t think it’s the thing here. 🙂
A joke is a joke and this was clearly a joke. Sometimes people say stupid things and try to cover with “I was only joking.” This isn’t one of those times. This was an obvious joke.
I only apologize when I know I’ve done something wrong. I have a pretty quirky sense of humor but it’s still a sense of humor and I’m not serious when that sense of humor is operative. If someone doesn’t get a joke or doesn’t think a joke is funny that’s their problem, not mine.
A while back some of the neighbors and I were sitting around conversing over beverages. I live by the ocean. The subject of dolphins (the mammal aka “porpoise” not the fish) came up. I said …
“Dolphins are my favorite tuna additive.”
One of my neighbor ladies about crapped herself.
She was offended by my joke. Oh well. I didn’t really care but I did care about what she said next. After I explained I was just kidding and besides, they separate out the dead dolphins before they can tuna anyway — She said …
“I don’t think you can be my friend if you can even think of something like that!”
And I said “If you’re going to get upset over a joke you don’t get to be my friend.”
Which shut her up. I don’t know if she realized it or not but being my friend isn’t a particularly easy status to obtain. Blowing a gasket over a joke takes you right out of contention no matter who you are. Because I know from experience I don’t want to be friends with people like that. If I can’t relax and “be me” around someone then they can just kiss my … porpoise.
So I never apologize for unintentionally offending someone with my sense of humor. They chose to take offense and that is not my problem.
If my intention is to give offense, you don’t need to read between the lines, you don’t need to interpret by guess, it will be more than obvious. That being the case, if it’s not obvious then you have no business being offended and I’m not apologizing to someone for their own failings.
What most people think of as “friends” aren’t really friends anyway. I don’t have a lot of friends and I don’t want a lot of friends. The friends I do have are real friends, not just the cordial acquaintances a lot of people think of as their “friends”.
So no, I don’t think Bill owes Debra an apology. He may decide to be diplomatic and render one anyway. That’s his choice to make.
I find it appalling when people in a situation like this choose to be offended AND THEN threaten to punish the “offender” by withdrawing financial support. That’s nothing but blackmail.
People who would commit blackmail over such trivial causes are offensive to me. They can never be my friend either. It’s my experience that whatever the case may be, I’m better off without “friends” like that. YMMV
Well said. For those who would extort others over some a perceived offense, I just think of these lyrics:
Don’t go be sad
Don’t go away mad
Just go away (Go away)
Go away and stay away
~(Blondie, Parallel Lines, 1978)
My mother is nearly 80, and I’m sure she would laugh at such verbal buffoonery that was exhibited by our fine trio of partially-bearded men.
That said, I had to laugh out loud at this:
Just a light sprinkling on top in lieu of Parmesan.
We all have to pay at least the minimum membership fee (which is what I do) just to be here.
Some people make larger donations than that and there’s no doubt such support is most welcome but …
A donation is a donation, it does not buy anything but gratitude. A donation does not entitle someone to a controlling interest in the enterprise and certainly does not mean influence over what’s being said.
Even less so a membership. A membership buys access to this site behind the paywall and that’s all it buys.
Anyone who doesn’t like it here and wants to be offended at what’s being said can take Blondie’s advice. No one has a gun to their head forcing them to stay.
Anyone who thinks blackmail is going to get them what they want, be that an apology for a harmless joke or the demand that the site exclusively use a particular platform, is in for a rude awakening.
If you can’t take a harmless joke then your recourse is to hit the hatch, not demand contrition. Frankly I’m astounded that a woman in her 80’s could be that petulant and petty. She’s probably never had a good hearty tuna & dolphin sandwich in her life. More’s the pity.
Or, baby seal tears in lieu of vermouth on my martini….
Made a Rob Roy Saturday night. Ronette watched me go through the process and had a taste. She doesn’t like Scotch (I am not sure where I failed, but Mrs Ron doesn’t like brown liquor either, sigh) but she had a taste and went, hey that’s pretty good.
Though it probably would be better with Seal Tears rather than the sweet vermouth I used, but not the tears of Dems who hope Trump gets jailed at the results of a CIVIL trial in NYC. Those might replace the Angostura bitters, but one dash would likely be sufficient rather than the two I generally use.
(Yes, I have seen people saying that he will end up in Jail if found guilty of fraud in this case. Just demonstrating what I have known for a long time: People are Idiots)
Kinda gives a new perspective on a dirty martini, huh?
She may have a right to demand an apology, but she doesn’t have a right to receive one.
And it would set a VERY bad precedent to give one.
Yes, she has a “right” to demand an apology in the same sense as she has a “right” to scream at the sky until she turns purple. There’s a huge gap between the right to demand and the right to have a demand met.
I agree, it would set a very dangerous precedent. This “you have offended me so you have to alter your behavior to suit me” thing is nothing new. It’s a manipulative control attempt and will only get worse once it succeeds.
A large part of the reason society is in the straits we find it today is because that sort of thing has been allowed to work when it should not. It is an aspect of puerility being if not encouraged then at least detrimentally tolerated.
As I said, it’s the Left that goes around laying social landmines and setting tripwires as an excuse to be offended over the inoffensive or neutral. Frankly I was surprised that anyone here would try such a thing. Especially a woman in her 80’s of presumed dignity and wisdom.