Bizarre Coronavirus Analogies

I thought I’d catalog some of the bizarre or overwrought analogies relating to the Wuhan-flu, though the first few are pretty pedestrian. I’ve sorted them a bit to make it a bit more interesting, but they’re not chronological or anything.

Sports

If you can’t come up with a good analogy, you fall back on sports.

“It’s like the playoffs, a four-out-of-seven series, and you’re asking me what will happen in the seventh game,” Dubé said.

To use a cricket analogy- COVID-19 is horrible because it is an all-rounder that both bats and bowls reasonably well, without being a specialist in either area.

Dr. Anthony Fauci’s basketball analogy paints an ugly picture

Food

“Each intervention that we currently have for COVID-19 prevention is kind of like a slice of Swiss cheese,” Malosh said. “There are holes in it, and so the virus can get through in certain ways.”

Removing coronavirus from your hands – peanut butter analogy

Social distancing

Early on, there was still some pretense of unity.

Viral ‘match video’ shows how social distancing can save lives

Social distancing is like asking a string section to play pianissimo: it only works if everyone does it.

Vice

But once masks became mandatory, forget about unity.

Refusing to Wear a Mask Is Like Driving Drunk and here

Not Wearing A Mask Is Like Smoking Near A Pregnant Woman

Pee and poo

I found many, many articles raving about the brilliance of explaining masks by the analogy of peeing your pants and peeing on other people. It was even fact checked. Shockingly, one article calls it out for insulting the people it’s (ostensibly) trying to convince.

 Comparing ending lockdowns to poop in a pool.

I’ll spare you the picture that compares wearing a mask with your nose out to wearing your underwear with your wang out.

Lockdown memes

These popped up when we went from flattening the curve to the perpetual lockdown.

Sure, the velociraptors are still on the loose, but that’s no reason not to reopen Jurassic park

Meme Comparing ‘Flattening the Curve’ of COVID-19 to Deploying a Parachute Goes Viral

Panic memes

Coronavirus and the Chernobyl Analogy

Coronavirus and the “Unsinkable” Titanic Analogy

Losing 137,000 people would be equivalent to 50 planes a week crashing for four months with everybody on board dying.

And, of course, this guy had to go there: Arizona lawmaker admits ‘better analogy’ possible after comparing mask mandate to Holocaust

Predictable

Climate change.

“If you think about unmasked people in mass gatherings, it’s like dry brush in a forest fire,” he continued.

Their totalitarian revulsion at the Freedom Cafe.

Missing

If anyone has seen analogies about:

• Drinking poison vs. drinking water
• Being attacked by bears

I swear I’ve seen these on social media, but couldn’t find them.