Virtual President – Climate Change (How to Stop a Hurricane)

Full Video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb9hhh83aJM

 

Full Script:

Focusing on making America energy-independent has many obvious benefits, independent of whether or not man-made Climate Change is a real threat.  It boosts our economy, creates a cleaner environment as a result of localized shipping, and disentangles us from foreign wars over scarce resources that only destroy infrastructure and lead to needless bloodshed.  This is true whether we’re talking about switching over to green technologies or merely producing our own energy through more traditional means and simply getting more efficient at it.

As stated previously, this administration shall take an “all of the above” approach to the topic of energy production in an effort to make our country richer and more sustainable.

However, there are other things we can do besides innovate our fuel technology at home, which will bring about important and necessary change; and which again do not depend on the reality of there being massive existential threats hanging over our heads.  For instance, hurricanes are a major disaster, ravaging our coastlines every year, leading to thousands of deaths and billions of dollars in property damage.  Climate Change activists point to this as a clear sign that things are growing worse due to human activity.  Even if that weren’t the case – even if Climate Change were completely false – it’s still an issue worth solving if we can.  

However, we are not God, so many of you might be thinking: What can we possibly do to stop a hurricane, right?

As it turns out, there might in fact be something we can do about it.

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (or NOAA), most of these hurricanes originate from a single point in Western Africa, where the Sahara Desert meets the forested coasts off the Gulf of Guinea.  This exchange of heat and moisture produces unstable winds that move westward across the Atlantic, becoming tropical storms and hurricanes by the time they reach North America.  If these winds could somehow be made more stable, we would see a decrease in the strength and number of hurricanes that ravage our shores.  The value of this in terms of lives and money saved would be phenomenal; and think of what other problems we might be able to solve if we didn’t have to spend resources repairing the damage and rebuilding every year.

As such, I have directed Virtual Secretary of State, Tulsi Gabbard, to form a diplomatic, economic, and scientific team to explore the possibility of terraforming the Sahara Desert, beginning along the Atlantic coast near Cape Verde where these hurricanes presently originate.  Such a monumental task as this would obviously be international in scope and require the cooperation of many nations and likely cost trillions of dollars.  However, we would not be the only country that benefits from such an endeavor; and thus, we should not be the only ones involved in its planning and execution, nor the only ones fronting the money to pay for it.

To even attempt such a project will require partnership with the governments of Senegal, Morocco, Mauritania, Western Sahara, as well as our neighbors in the Carribean who are likewise affected by such storms, and also our European and Middle Eastern allies.

An unprecedented and world-changing endeavor like this would likely come with many unknowns and many risks.  We know with certainty that there is a clear and measurable upside; but at present, there is no way to know, for instance, whether such alterations to the global environment would make things worse for life on this planet.  One of the primary questions our team will seek to answer is firstly whether or not it would be worth the cost and the risk; and of course, if such a plan were to be put into motion, we shall monitor it closely to see how things change as the desert recedes and moves north – with an understanding that we can and must pull the plug and reassess, if it appears that the situation is being made worse rather than better.

However, I put it to you that it’s worthy of serious consideration because of the tremendous potential payoff – on par with other mega projects like the Apollo Moon Landing.

The Saudi government has already made in-roads into desert revival, and we hope to use this as a means of collaboration for mutual benefit to bring increased liberty and prosperity to all people.  Such experiments will also serve as excellent tests of our potential to terraform other planets someday, including the surface of Mars, which might become necessary in the long-term of our species.

If the worst should happen, it would be prudent to have made in-roads towards a Planet B.

The Virtual Secretary and I shall present our preliminary findings at this year’s G20 Summit and we remain hopeful that our friends and allies will be met with glorious news when we do.

Until then, we call upon scientists and engineers from around the world to come together – whether advocate or skeptic – to discuss the merits and feasibility of this idea in earnest and good faith.  We need your brilliance now more than ever if we’re to make it happen, and we offer you the opportunity of a lifetime to do some real and measurable good in this world, for your world, and which a grateful world shall remember centuries from now.

Whether you believe in the threat of Climate Change or not, helping to prevent the threat of natural disasters should be of interest to you.  A cause we can all get behind.  If we mean what we say about saying lives and the environment, then it’s time we get serious and take action.

We choose to do these things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard and because they must be done in spite of the fact that they are hard.  That is the spirit that has and will continue to fuel this country; and through this same spirit, we shall make America greater than ever and build a future of freedom for all.