You can work hard on a goal, and still miss your purpose. In fact, the achievement of the goal often comes with disappointment, even depression, if it’s not connected to larger meaning.
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9 replies on “Why Goal Achievement Can Leave You Empty and Depressed without an All-Consuming Purpose”
I’ve checked the comments multiple times. Not one reference to Navin Johnson. And he had a special purpose!
Funny thing about goals that I learned from a business resource speaker years ago. You “appoint” yourself a goal, work towards it , and if you ultimately achieve it, you must then “dis appoint” that goal. You become “disappointed”…..unless you quickly appoint a new goal. It fell right into his next point, about how happiness comes not from getting what you want, (or achieving those goals), but in the successful movement toward achieving those goals. You’re happier when you making progress, and unhappy when you’re suffering setbacks or failures along the way.
But your overarching “purpose” talk caught me by surprise and was really stimulating, thoughtful. Watching this Virtue Signal was definitely worth my time. Great show, and thanks guys.
And points to Jennifer for the ‘little shop of horrors’ reference. Nice!
Same actor, different movie. Loved both The Jerk and Steve Martin’s bit as the dentist in Shop of Horrors.
Great show guys.
Our purpose, at least according to biology, is to procreate.
During the course of this discussion, I realized whatever my purpose was in the past, my purpose is now filtered through the eyes and experiences of my children. With that in mind, I have been unknowingly exposing them to experiences that may or may not be what others might label a “purpose” as commonly thought. Sure, what I do for a living and my personal goals might contribute to that purpose, but it goes farther than that. Showing my daughter how to check the transmission fluid level in my wife’s car; showing my son the process of hitching up a trailer; explaining the difference between the “voices” of John Coltrane and Stan Getz on tenor sax; exposing them to ideas and reasoning espoused by Bill, Zo and others; being transparent about my own efforts toward goals and self improvement — these all contribute to my purpose. I just realized that my purpose is being the best father I can be. To me this is passing on as much hard earned knowledge, successes, and failures as I can so they can thrive after I am gone.
This seems obvious now, and I suppose other fathers feel the same. But I’ve only just now attached fatherhood itself to the idea of a purpose.
I am grateful for these conversations. Thank you.
Lowering standards destroys the will to strive for goals. Just like letting biological men compete against women, it poisons the fundamental desire to excel, to do your best. This, in turn, prevents the development of a sense of purpose or even allows those energies to be redirected to meaningless self-gratification or destructive activities.
Excellent – most people, not just young people, don’t understand the differnece between goal and purpose. Not having a purpose is, I believe, the biggest reason of depression.
Also, ones purpose can change during life.
Love this! I’m grateful to you and all those in your “little shop of horrors” for finding your purpose and developing a means to share it with me. Keep on with it please, and have a Merry Christmas and an especially prosperous New Year!
Superb! I’ll probably quote you in a sermon!
I’m not depressed. I’m a guy – I have no feelings and I’m made of rubber. Ask any chick.